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Guy's Salmon Patty Recipe

Guy's--it's that holiday season time again and I'm back with my latest favorite recipe.  One that will leave your wife saying: "I wish he would cook like that all year long."  (Fat chance--too many games to watch, too many toys to play with.) 

The recipe this season is for salmon patties.  Salmon patties?  How masculine is that?  Just wait.  They are great and below there are a couple of options that will keep you ahead of the crowd. 

To make about eight full bun sized patties:

  • Start with a pound or so of Salmon.  Spurge on the wild Atlantic salmon, not the farm raised stuff.  There is a difference!  You want your guests to eat them, not slide them (to the dog, cat, planter, garbage, or wherever).
  • Poach the salmon--this means boil it in water, not catch it out of season or over limit!  You can grill it or fry it , but it won't be as moist and tender.
  • Then flake it with a fork and dump into a large bowl (be sure to remove the skin or you may not have enough bathrooms).

While poaching the salmon con someone else into dicing up a cups worth of onion and another cup of red or green bell pepper.  Same taste, but I use red--shows up better (could use both).  Remember the first rule of cooking--appearance is everything!

  • Sauté (fancy word for fry) the onion and pepper in some olive oil until they seem done.   Dump on top of the salmon.

Now throw in a cup of crushed bread crumbs.  The Thanksgiving stuffing type work fine.  Just crush them a bit lot.  I often use an open box of stale crackers, especially if they have some type of spicy flavor--anything but graham crackers!

Take a couple of eggs, beat them together with a fork, and add to the bowl.

The remaining ingredients fall into the "more or less" category.

  • Spoon in 3 or 4 Tablespoons of mayo.
  • A teaspoon or so of Worcestershire sauce.
  • Some garlic salt.
  • Some black pepper.
  • Some finely cut up fresh parsley.

Then look in the spice cabinet and see what else you can find to throw in.  In the cabinet I found some Old Bay Seasoning.  In the fridge I found some Soy sauce.  In the liquor cabinet I found…  In the garage I found (just kidding). 

Mix all this into a big gunky looking glob. You want sort of a mud-pie consistency--if it's too thick add some more mayo, if it's too thin add some more bread crumbs.

Melt a thin layer of butter in a frying pan or griddle (I like to use a cast iron one). 

Then it's time to call:  "Hey Hon".  Because someone has to stick their hands into that glob and make the 8 patties.  Time to give someone else an opportunity to share in the glory that will soon by yours.  Make sure they "pat the patties"  so they don't fall apart while frying them. 

They only take a 3-5 minutes a side (careful, they burn easily).  Remember the salmon is already cooked so you're really only cooking the egg glue and making sure they are piping hot patties.  

Serve.  With a humble "Thank You" to all the compliments.  Then get back to  the game. 

At the top I promised you a couple of options.  Here goes: 

  • If you have some macho types around that will stick up their nose about eating salmon patties, take a pound of ground beef and follow the exact same recipe.  Just remember to cook them a little longer as you're starting with raw meat. 
  • If you have some of the other types around that are strictly vegetarian, take a pound of veggie-burgers, chop them into very small pieces, and again follow the remainder of the recipe. 

These patties go great with beer.  But not just any beer.  It has to be a craft beer from your local craft brewery.  You are serving a craft salmon or hamburger patty.  You need a good craft beer to go with them.  A Bud/Miller/Coors Lite just will not do!  BTW: If you take a can of craft beer and add five cans of water, what do you have?  A six-pack of [you insert the brand] Lite Beer! 

I'm not suggesting you act like a beer snob, but you could have a lager or IPA for the salmon folks and a Stout for the hamburger lovers. 

Enjoy!!!  Both the patties/burgers and the game!